saturday 01-26-08 dreary day

yuck outside. cozy inside. me stay inside today, and play poker. maybe drink beer. smoke cigarettes. nothing else to smoke. wish there was. feel like revisiting my youthful exuberances. gets me horny too. or hornier. can you get horniest? maybe. maybe not. nothing like being called "horniest guy in neighborhood". its almost like having "best lawn". only i dont worry about that kind of grass. Home Maintenace company does. fools! scale at 182.5 this am. lost two inches off penis. didnt know it weighed that much. creeping man boobs gone also. tight muscular thighs and buttocks returning. welcome back. neighborhood ladies say same thing. sent me "welcome home" cards to memorialize event. nice to have fan club. and admirers. watching several outside now holding up signs. "we love baldar".

Someone put me to work. I shall share what I learned from this activity............when removing wallpaper that has been put over wallpaper.....it's pretty fucking difficult, and very messy. I googled 'wallpaper removal", and got a pretty good link from some guy. It suggests 4 parts hot water and 1 part vinegar, soak wallpaper, and remove. Fucking idiot! I stink of vinegar, the dogs want to stay outside, and it's given me a craving for sauerkraut and mashed potatoes. I hate sauerkraut! It does remove the wallpaper, though.

Poker sucks today. I think they have "destructo1" on destruct mode. I get pockets aces.....a guy goes all in before the flop....I call. He has pocket sixes. Flop comes A44....Im aces full....hes got 2 pair....sixes and fours. next card comes a 6.....the last card comes a 6. Lucky fucker puts me out with a 2000 to one shot. I wonder if he gets a paycheck from pokerstars?

It sure is a hub of excitement here today....I don't think I've been this excited since I bungee jumped fifteen years ago.

But at least this doesn't make you shit your pants.

Well....maybe if you have a stomach virus, and can't make it to the bathroom in time, I guess it could. That's why I always carry the "new revolutionary invention" put out by Ron Poopeil. For only the small price of $19.99 (plus S/H)....I got a foolproof way of not having to endure the embarrassment and mess of shitting your pants. It is ergonomically designed to fit into the anus of anyone....even the biggest asshole that you could envision....to prevent this event from happening.

Sass, as we all know, would have to risk it, for personal reasons.

I still have that craving for sauerkraut.

This was a wondermous daily blog to come home to after a long, long day listening to presentations. Too bad it looks like I'm the only one around to appreciate it.

Nothing. In. The. Ass. I don't care if it's only $5.99 with sauerkraut on the side.

Hi doll.....I think I finally got the vinegar smell off my hands and arms. Sorry yourday was so boring....I could have used an exciting essay on "How I spent my Saturday".

Your girl Hillary didn't do too well today in SC. Barack might take this whole thing.

I hear he's been declared the victor already so it must not have even been real close. What I'd like to know is how many dems turned out compared to the reps on their primary day.

In fact, I'd like to know those numbers across all the states who've voted already. I guess I could look into the delegates won.

barack won 54% to hillary's 27%....Edwards 19%

Ah....

Obama has 51 delegates and Clinton has 40 according to CNN. Color me surprised.