wednesday 02-13-08

NEWS WIRE (AP) 02/13/2008

The search for the notorious poster Bam continues. State and local officials of the tristate Illinois/Indiana/Michigan area have issued a sweeping womanhunt for the feminine desperado, and has warned the public that she may be armed and dangerous. It is also feared that she has kidnapped her former friend and fellow poster Sassenach and is holding her for ransom, although no ransom demands have yet been received by either family, friends or officials. There have been numerous possible sightings of the pair, ranging from Wisconsin to Mississippi, but so far the police have not been able to confirm any of the sightings. The sightings follow a basic pattern, as reported by numerous members of the public, of the two trolling for love connections in local bars and pubs, drinking vodka fusions, and then taking the love connection out into the parking lot and extorting money from him using various feminine wiles and ways, unpublishable in this family newspaper. It is suspected that Sassenach may actually be an accomplice to these affairs, and is cooperating with Bam in a partnership relation, rather than as a victim relationship, although this has not yet been confirmed.

if anyone knows of, or has seen the pair, please notify your local police department as quickly as possible. They were last seen wearing identical sweatshirts with an as yet unidentified suspected cult symbol, on the front and the phrase 'we love baldars tmt@b" on the back. Military officials are trying to decypher and determine what these symbols and saying mean, fearing a possible new terrorist organization being birthed. They assume "Baldar" is a leader of the suspected cult/terrorist organization, and are searching databases in every country trying to determine who or what it is.

LMAO!!!!!