Sunday 11-18-07

Good morning!

^ That is total comedy there and you would be able to tell if you could see me now... bleary-eyed and grimacing. People should not be required to work on Sunday mornings unless they are members of the clergy.



I wonder if Baldar is rich now.

Baldar won 180 dollars.....that's far from rich.

But I must admit.....he did it with style and grace, overcoming a field of 13 others with exceptional playing acumen and skill, to run roughshod over the other "wannabes'. If poker was an actual war, Baldar would be the nuclear weapon in the arsenal, ready to rain down doom and destruction, death and mayhem. There would be no survivors, and the earth would be laid to waste, transformed into a barren desert, incapable of supporting life, and destroying the hapless life that had the temerity to wander across it's deadly landscape. That is why I wear the personalized poker hat with the name "Destructo" sewed into the brim, an honor bestowed upon me by past victims, others who have recognized the sheer genuis within my play, and the fearlessness with which that play is executed! ALL HAIL DESTRUCTO! Bow down to him, place yourself upon your knees in front of him, and perhaps....just perhaps...mercy may be granted, and he will give you cab fare home.

Good morning, Dear Sass. How was your night, and more importantly, how is your day going?

Breakfast is on Destructo!

Destructo will buy you breakfast any day.....especially if it's coming from room service.

I might hold you to that.

And hope does spring eternal.

As long as it still springs up.

LOL.....that's where the hope comes in.....

It's a boring ass day. Wife playing tennis with her sister, dog's sleeping, kids (both) out of town, I've no chores to do before the Thanksgiving stampede comes here....don't feel like playing poker....hey.....I just got a terrific idea....this is perfect for a NAP!

Almost every day is a boring ass day.

But one can't always nap so that is a bonus.

As boring as your days may have been - and still may be - there is nothing worse than being bored at work. Napping was not an option.

My boss called me about 2:30 to see if anything was going on, which there wasn't, and said she'd see me in the morning. Then she called back about 15 minutes later to "see what's on the calendar." Seriously, I think she was just checking to make sure that I stayed until 3.

"Hmmmmm.....what's on the calendar.....let's see, tomorrow is....yep, just as I feared.....tomorrow is Monday. After that....ummmm....by golly, that'll be Tuesday. Following that.....ummmm....I think it says Wednesday, but I'm not for sure, someone has written all over the name of the day......after that.....

Next week is a holiday week so even having a Monday can't taint it too much.

Bam, I bet you right - she was checking up on you, lol.

I am going to get to go out for dinner tonight - a blessing for all of us. I have patio building grime on me, tho, so it's off to the shower.

*crickets*

over at the K (formerly the eld) forum, this chick posted list of advice to men. I felt I needed to respond to most of them. lol


Advice From Women To Men

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance -- in fact -- please do !!!

13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours" -- the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work"; besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Good To Be The Woman

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching their butts.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

my responses:


Advice From Women To Men

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

my bra never matches my panties.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

same to you. lol

7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.

if you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask a man that wants to have sex with you any time soon.

9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?

3 words. walk of shame.

13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours" -- the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

first of all, I am not a Ken doll. Second, any acts of malice against my well broken in clothes will result in a miraculous vanishing of your shoes. your favorite ones, the ones that hurt your feet.

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.

we do. you just haven't cracked the code.

15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.

our lonliness had nothing to do with the request.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

*looks up*

I'm sorry... did you say something?

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work"; besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.

its not clutter, its "stuff". w aren't finished with it yet. maybe next year.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?

because Dominos delivers.

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

we don't care. we needed a break anyway.

20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.

yeah but our reputation not only remains intact, we get bragging rights.

I'm trying to get some manhunts done but it is so dead online I might just give up and call it a night. Glad you are having fun somewhere.

I had to cook... and eat... and clean up the kitchen. Plus, I'm still working on that "mystery" project.

well I posted that stuff last night. not having any fun today.

why don't you work me up some mystery cheese fries.

The mystery is how I would get them to you.

I like your responses to the womanly advice for men. I have to say that the advice is not applicable to all of us though.